For the month of March, I am participating in Fabulous Finds by Tiffany’s 31 Day Blog Challenge. Today’s prompt: something that you miss.
I miss swimming. Not in a coaching capacity (though I am sad season is over!), not in a recreational capacity, but as an athlete. Even though I love working out, I have trouble motivating myself to do so. While I am not alone in this phenomenon, I dislike that I deal with it at all. For awhile, I thought it was because I wasn’t on a team anymore and didn’t have a coach, teammates, or scheduled practices to hold me accountable. So I tried blogging about it. I tried working out with friends. I tried joining a gym and taking classes. Then I thought it was because I wasn’t training for something specific. So I tried training for a 5K (despite the fact that I totally hate running and always have). All of these reflections and efforts helped me, but none truly hooked me, excited me, or stuck.
Ever since moving back to Cleveland and trying to settle my post-college life, I have had pangs for swimming. I mean PANGS: sick jolts of longing in my stomach, swoops of something akin to homesickness. And lately, these pangs have become closer and closer together. Not because I miss coaching, or being around a pool, or anything else like that, but because I miss being a swimmer. I miss training. I miss smelling like chlorine even after I take a shower. I miss being so sore it hurts to walk up the stairs, having skin so dry I have to take oatmeal baths, and an appetite so strong I can eat a foot long Subway sandwich and three cookies and still be legitimately hungry. I miss racing. I miss the focus I get right before a race and the harmony a good relay team has. I miss pushing myself so hard I have to crawl out of the pool when I’m done.
Then it hit me. Why am I trying to replace swimming? What’s the point? Yes, it can be a time-consuming and somewhat costly sport. But why waste my time trying to fall in love with and become good at something else? It’s not working, and it’s not worth it.
That’s why, when my year-long gym membership is up for renewal next month, I am not renewing it. That’s why I’ve been doing better with exercising the past couple weeks. Because next month, I’m putting my money and time where it will make me most happy. I am returning to the swimming world. And you bet I am ready for it.