bookmark it, LOL edition: suri’s burn book

 

I came across this Tumblr, Suri’s Burn Book, earlier this week. Basically, it’s a satirical blog written from the perspective of Suri Cruise in which she provides commentary on celebrities’ (particularly celebrity’s children) fashion and ability to handle fame. I spent a whole evening reading through it and I could not stop laughing. I’m sure some people would say it’s not right to make fun of children’s clothes or imitiate Suri Cruise in such a manner, to which I would say to those people it’s clearly all in good fun and when you come to my house you can just ignore the book on the coffee table.

You really should take a look at the Tumblr, since photos are always included and add to the commentary, oftentimes being the sole focus and not just accompaniment. Here are some stand-alone quotes that cracked me up:

  • “Either get your things monogrammed or just expect that people know who you are.”
  • “Amy Poehler’s ginger baby is not amused. He is, however, still extremely ginger.”
  • “It’s not cute, it’s not clever, and it’s not symmetrical, which are three of my highest priorities for haircuts and for life in general.”
  • “I feel like her eyes are silently asking for help. Perhaps she’s just realized that her name is Maxwell, and Jessica Simpson is responsible for her.”
  • “Even I know better than to pretentiously tweet about my bad days, even though I assure you I have them. Just yesterday, my chef tried to serve me pancakes instead of waffles, and it threw me off for the rest of the morning.”
  • “Blue Ivy Carter showed up in Paris yesterday without shoes on. Going barefoot in Paris is like showing up to the Oscars in a denim miniskirt. A frayed one.”
  • “All I would want to discuss with the President is equal pay for equal work, and the ridiculously high tariffs on French cheeses.”

 

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